Labor Induction Methods that Don't Work: Part 1- Acupressure

Today we begin a series of posts on the various natural labor induction methods that I've tried in order to get this kid out. Today's topic is acupressure. For the past three nights, I've tried acupressure on the pressure points just above my ankles, and the points between my thumb and index finger. Since I'm still here typing, you obviously know the outcome of this method: it has not worked. This is not to say I'm giving up. Each morning and each evening, I intend to continue to press on these pressure points in the hope that one day something will actually happen, other than just bruising myself. I even bought a hand-held massager to rub on them to help out a bit. It's funny, though, for all the times I've been warned by various people NOT to push on these pressure points "unless I want to run the risk of early labor," now that I actually want them to do something they're proving sadly ineffective. For example, Kenny and I went to Relax the Back last night to pick up an exercise ball to use during labor, and as I browsed their various massagers, I was told by the woman who works there not to use it on my calves or I might go into labor. I looked at her and asked, "Where exactly on my calves am I not supposed to use it? Can you show me exactly?" Like I fooled her. I probably looked unbelievably desperate as I asked. I then told her I was full-term and approaching my due date and looking for any way possible to jump start things, so she showed me. Of course, it was the same pressure point that hasn't been doing anything for me thus far, so my heart sank a little. Then, Kenny sat down in one of their massage chairs and started testing it out. He told me to come over and try it, at which point another sales person stepped in and said I couldn't because, you guessed it, "it might send me into labor." Please people!! Can't you see that I WANT to start this process? Do I not look ready to you? This isn't a watermelon under my shirt, and I'm not just happy to see you. I have what appears to be a pretty good sized human being (helped along by the box of Nilla Wafers I ate this weekend) under my shirt and she needs to come out! I think I'm going to scope out that store again, maybe disguised as someone with a pituitary problem or benign stomach tumor (we've all heard those stories), and sit in that chair. Who knows what other accupressure points it can hit that might just do the trick. Of course, now that the sales person has cursed the chair by promoting its labor-inducing qualities (the kiss of death for any induction remedies, I've decided), it probably won't work. Next post: spicy food.